How to Say NO Without Inflicting Any Pain, Tears or Bloodshed

Guest Post How to Say NO Without Inflicting Any Pain, Tears or Bloodshed


I’m gonna’ (try) get straight to the point here and skip right through the fact that I’ve been MIA for some time and that this is my first post on this blog in over 2 months.


Because I have a ton of excuses but none that are worthy enough. So I’m just gonna’ pick up where I left off and start musing here again the way I use to – slowly but surely.

But until I do, I’d love it if you were to head over to our very dear Aunt Gini’s blog – an AdAge Power 150 site might I add – to read my latest guest post, “5 Effective Ways to Say NO” or as I like to call it, “How to Say NO Without Inflicting Any Pain, Tears or Bloodshed”. Needless to say that the first title was a better fit for the mighty Spin Sucks lol ;).

It doesn’t really take a brain surgeon to figure out what the post is about but I guarantee that it won’t be the usual, bland, “how to” type of post. There’s definitely a little touch of Griddy in there – 1000 plus words worth actually ;)! Please don’t make that face or freak out, I made it pretty easy and entertaining to read with some pretty realistic examples. OH yeah, I also poked a little fun at Gini and Lisa – but all in the name of humor and friendship.

So if you’ve ever been in a situation where you knew you had to say no but said yes anyways – this read is for you. If you’ve ever wondered how to say no in a polite but firm and friendly manner – this is the read for you. Basically – if you’re alive and kicking…say it with me….THIS IS THE READ FOR YOU!

Are you still here? Because you know I could go on…but seriously…wouldn’t you rather go over there and join the conversation instead? Yeah, I thought so!

I’ll meet you in the comments…

PS – for the second time in this blog’s history, I’ve closed the comments section so that you can share all you want where the original post is…at Gini’s fabulous house.


[image credit: via Template Faerie]

SuperPost Sunday on a Thursday (WTF?!) – Weekly Roundup #37

IMG 0227 SuperPost Sunday on a Thursday (WTF?!)   Weekly Roundup #37


Hello My Lovelies,

Before you say or think anything…I know!

I know it’s Thursday. And I know this series is called SuperPost Sunday and not SuperPost Thursday. I could have let this past week slide and just waited another 3 days, but I was intent on publishing this asap regardless of the day.

What I did this time round was combine my recommendations from the past 2 weeks (and some from this week) – the one’s where I left you without a SuperPost :(. I’m hoping that you’ve forgiven me (or forgotten) by now. But know that as of next week – we’re back to the regular scheduled SuperPosts – on SUNDAYS!

Other than that…how have you all been?

I for one, certainly missed being here while I was on vacation. But of course – I’m not complaining – I had a darn good time which is probably why it went so fast! Grrr…

Oh, and thanks to Aunt Gini, you  now all know where I was lol.

During my little escapade, I had 4 of my good friends step in for me and take the reigns here while I was away. Marcus SheridanGini DietrichJohn Falchetto and Stuart Mills did a hell of a job with their guest articles and I’m utterly grateful to them for providing you, my amazing community, with fresh and insightful content to chew on.

I hope you enjoyed their presence here as much as I did. And while we’re on that subject…I plan on inviting people to write here more often :D. Notice the key word being…INVITING! But keep your panties on, there’ll be more about that soon.

Prozac’s and Namaste’s

I’ve been playing a little a lot of catch up since I’ve been back; both here in the blogosphere and my life offline. Needless to say it’s been a bit hectic but nothing I can’t handle I suppose.

I will tell you this though: working with plumbers, electricians, carpenters and general construction workers is not as exciting as you might have imagined it to be. I’m not saying anything negative about those professions in particular – quite the contrary – thank goodness they exist and a big phat WOOT for what they do! But just in case you thought the time spent organizing and coordinating them with each other might be pleasant – allow me to burst your bubble now and say – RUN! Well…if not that, then pop a Prozac and repeat the word Namaste to yourself while you think of your happy place all day long – or at least until the job is done!

Note to self: Two more weeks Ingrid! Only two more weeks! You can do it! Namsteeeee…

Oh, and just to be clear – I was kidding about the Prozac lol ;)!

I’m not a physician and Copywriters and MarCom professionals aren’t really qualified to prescribe drugs of any kind. That would be my little disclaimer lol. But I wasn’t joking about the Namaste’s! I’m most definitely prescribing those ;)!

The Numbers that Don’t Matter…

I realize that during the last 5 or so weeks where I was less active online (whether in publishing new articles, commenting on other blog posts that I liked, writing guest posts, twalking, engaging on Facebook and so forth) this blog took quite the hit when it comes to Queen Alexa.

It was only very recently that nittyGriddy had a ranking of 67K. But now it’s back up to 106K. Even my silly Klout score has dropped to a 57. But I couldn’t give a baboon’s butt about that one!

Am I worried, stressed or depressed?

F#@% Hell NO!

Sure, it’s a little annoying and maybe even disappointing – but then again, numbers were made to fluctuate. And in all honesty, besides being pretty to look at, I don’t pay much attention to them. And as for rankings go…well, they don’t mean much to me either when it comes to blogging. Your blog can be ranked at a million plus for all I care. I don’t just people by their numbers! 

If I like you, what you have to share and how you share it – then that’s all that matters! Much like many of you, I’m waaaay more interested in quality content and community involvement. And luckily for me, I have both! Or at least I’d like to think so.

On that note – I’m gonna’ ask you to please bear with me a couple more weeks as I slowly go back to my normal online activities. I’ve already switched on the power button to the blogging mode side of my brain, and the little gerbil is doing a little stretching before she’s up and running again ;)!

Alright, I’ve said enough for one day.

Time for the Goodies…

“Without further ado and blah blah,” here are this week’s rockin’ SuperPosts on all things Social Media, Blogging Tips, SEO, Internet Marketing, Traffic Building, Online Money Making Tools and more


Social Media

As great as Twitter is, there are many people who use and abuse it to the point of absurdity. Wikipedia defines a “troll” as “someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community…

We hear that “data is the new oil” and maybe so, but just like crude oil, data needs to be refined to maximise its value. It needs to be processed into actionable insight. Online and mobile activities generate vast amounts…

First off, I want to preface this post with the fact that social media shouldn’t be done only with the goal of making direct conversions. Social media is about building new relationships, generating word of mouth…

I know that the parallel between God and Google is starting to be a cliche, but somehow since the beta launch of Google+ this came top of mind again for me. As Google just added yet another divine quality to its already…

One of the greatest challenges companies face in adjusting to the impact of social media, is knowing where to start? Many corporate leaders and employees have the right intentions, but it can be overwhelming when…

You may be thinking I am going to write about some huge blog scandal that embarrassed a CEO, relieved somebody of their U.S. Senate seat, or made somebody in Hollywood look like a complete loser in some way…

StumbleUpon is a great place to go when you are sitting and doing nothing. Just a click on the ‘Stumble’ button and you get to discover some great stuff. Everything from interesting articles to useful apps and funny videos… 

When you come right down to it, Social Media is just about people. All of the talking we do about strategy, how to engage, how to interact – it’s just all people stuff. Because of this, most advice that you get for the offline world…

Blogging Tips

Nearly every day I receive some variation of this question – “How do I drive more traffic to my blog?” I would go as far to say that there seems to be an obsession with traffic among bloggers. In my opinion, this is the wrong…

So you’re bored with blogging. You have other things to do – like eat, sleep, go out, work. You know – boring “real life” stuff. Besides, thinking about it, blogging is for computer nerds and failed writers. Not to worry…

There are 25 things you can do in less than 3 hours to improve your blog today and there are 33 more you can do in a week to make it even better. If you did your homework, this is the time when you put some of those tasks…

Everyone likes a good tips list, and it’s been awhile since I’ve developed one. They can be so annoyingly mundane; however, this topic ought to resonate with many a peer blogger. I’m seeing too many peeps having crises…

‘Hey Bloggers, you’re really not that important. Seriously.’—Those were the words of very popular social media blogger/consultant Jason Falls as he begun his seminar at Blog World New York a few months ago…

Traffic… subscribers… and money. That’s what you really want, but it’s not happening. Stop and take a good, long look at your blog. It’s a mess, right? The topic is wrong, the design is unimpressive, and your posts…

What does a blogger do? If I had a penny for every time I heard this, I’d be living in Maui and doing yoga on the beach and basking in the glory of Mother Nature’s sea turtles, humpback whales and spinner…

Have you ever wished your writing had more flavor? More pizzazz? We’ve all seen the kind of writing that commands a reader’s attention. It has kick and punch, style and personality. It draws us in and doesn’t…

I’ve gotten this question quite a bit in the past few months.“Hector, I’ve been blogging for a while now, but I can’t seem to get any sales for any of the products I’ve promoted.. what can I do?” That’s a great question…

“Wow, Danny, you’re like the Freddy Krueger of blogging – wherever I turn, you’re there!” I’ve received several comments like that in the last few months. The consensus seems to be that I’m everywhere. No matter which blog…

It’s a LONG post – But if you ever wanted to run a multi author blog, then you need to read every word! I was getting ready to fly from Houston to San Francisco, when I got a Twitter DM from my buddy John asking…

There is an old adage that goes “two ears and one mouth, use them in proportion” and that is the phrase that should be foremost in your mind when building community around your blog or business. I always thought that community…


Are you learning SEO, already know how to find good keywords BUT want to learn how to use keywords to write Search Engine Optimized (SEO) articles in order to get lots of free traffic? In this post, you’ll discover exactly…

Well, we all know about traditional SEO, right? Now in this age of social media, we need to consider how we go about optimizing our social feeds; especially Facebook. Maybe you didn’t know this yet, but there is such…


When I first started my Podcast, there were a few people that I knew I had to interview. Ashley Ambirge from was one of them. She has one of the most brutally honest, up front…

I’ve been watching a lot of old movies this week. It’s one of the easier things to do with a broken wrist. And it keeps me out of Bob’s way. Because he actually does have some projects and deadlines. Me? My job for now…

There are two things that I’ve noticed in researching popular individuals and their businesses. They all have something people want and those people trust them. Not only that, but those people are faithful fans of their brand…

I can’t sing for toffee. Or for anything else. I’m tone deaf and scare wolves away with my high pitched notes. Even the shower turns itself off when I start belting out ‘When September Comes’ by Green Day. So, I don’t bother…

An Interview Filled with Wisdom

Editor’s Note: Well folks…I’m back! I’m not sure if that’s a happy statement or not – cause I won’t lie to you – I was having a pretty good time being on vacation and all. But unfortunately you all know how quickly those go by :(. But I’ll tell you one thing – I’m most certainly psyched to see my blog and this amazing community again. I admit that I missed my blogosphere life way too much so in that sense – I’m definitely happy to back among you all!

As you might know, I asked a few good friends to step in for me with guest posts while I was away. And Marcus, Gini and John really outdid themselves and presented my community and I with fantastic pieces and discussion topics. I’m truly grateful to them for doing so.

If you haven’t had the chance to read their posts, I highly suggest that you do and join the conversations that are still taking place. Trust me, you won’t be sorry and there’s a lot to learn from each of these A+ peeps! 

I have another kick-ass post for you today from my friend Stuart Mills aka Stu. I’m sure most of you are familiar with Stu and his wonderful and very insightful blog, Unlock The Door. But if you aren’t, shame on you! But I forgive you as long as you head over there right after you read his guest article here and share your thoughts with us.

Stuart is a personal development blogger who wants to help you improve at life. He thinks you’re awesome. You can often find him at Unlock The Door where he writes constantly to make it a better day for everyone, and you should subscribe to his content here. Oh, and you should most definitely stalk him on Twitter.

Stuart Mills An Interview Filled with Wisdom

Stu Holding the Key to Unlocking the Potential in Your Life

“For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearance, as though they were realities and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are.”

Niccolo Machiavelli

Ever judged someone by their looks?

If the answer is “No”, then you have discovered some form of enlightenment and I applaud you for it. But I believe that most of you out there, if not all of you, will answer “Yes” to this question. We all judge by appearances, it’s human nature to. We don’t have the time to get to know someone, there’s just too much ‘rush-rush’ going on in our lives. We can’t even get our bills paid, let alone get to know someone off the street! And even if we started to learn more about someone, they may still surprise us by doing something unexpected. What alternative is there than to judge by first appearances?

Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for you, because I haven’t figured that one out yet. If I do, I’ll let you know, but until then don’t keep your hopes up. In the meantime though, I want to share a story with you. This incident happened about two months ago, when I went for a preliminary job interview after receiving a phone call from an agency. They’d seen my profile online, and wanted to invite me to their location to discuss a “Customer Service and Administration” role.

Now, this sounds good, but bear in mind that I hadn’t actually applied for this role – they contacted me out of the blue. And what’s more, I’ve had bad experiences with agencies contacting me before, which never lead anywhere. My instinct was to decline, but I was also curious, and agreed to go to the interview.

Fast forward to the day, and after waiting for a few minutes having filled in a form which was the same kind as used by agencies before (another alarm bell), I and one other interviewee were ushered into the interview room. Here was yet another alarm bell – interviews should be done one candidate at a time. Why were two of us going in?

In the interview itself, I met the interviewer for the first time. To me, and I’m not too proud to admit this, he looked like a ‘city prick’, someone who’s far more interested in making money and fame than actually paying attention to the people he’s just trampled over. He seemed friendly, but in a ‘snake-oil salesman’ way. I didn’t trust him, but I reminded myself not to judge immediately, and gave him the chance to express himself.

He started with the other candidate, getting to know each other. After a while, the candidate revealed that this job wasn’t what she was expecting, and she wouldn’t be interested in a ‘sales and marketing role’ (which is what it turned out to be). The interviewer thanked her for her time, they shook hands, and she left the room. Once the door was shut, it was just me, and the city prick.

The interesting thing was, I shared all of the concerns that the other candidate had expressed. This was not the role for me, I knew this now. I decided to tell the interviewer straight away so no more time would be wasted.

Here’s what was said, to the best of my memory:

Interviewer: So Mr. Mills, it says here that you’ve got experience in the retail field?

Me: Yeah, about 4 years worth. Listen, I was listening to the other candidate just now, and I think the same applies to me I’m afraid.

Interviewer: What do you mean?

Me: I don’t think this job applies to me. I was after a Customer Services role, like her, and this isn’t it. I think we’re in the same boat here.

Interviewer: I don’t understand what has she got to do with this?

Me: She hasn’t got anything to do with it, it’s just that we were both expecting something different. We were both told that this was a Customer Services and Admin role, and it’s not. I don’t think it’s right for me.

Interviewer: Hold on, did you two know each other beforehand?

Me: No, we…

Interviewer: Is this a set-up or something?

Me: No, God no! It’s just funny that we both had similar expectations and we’ve both realised this isn’t for us.

Interviewer: I don’t see your point here.

Me: All I’m saying is that I was after a role based in an office, doing different work than what’s offered here. I don’t want to work in a Sales role like this.

Interviewer: Well let me tell you, this isn’t just a Sales role. We train people to become Sales Managers, so that they become successful, and they lead people, which is clearly not what you want. You just want to work in an office, that’s your choice.

Me: I think we both know this isn’t going to work out.

Interviewer: Well, I hope you have luck finding your office job or whatever. At this point, he walked over to the door and opened it for me. I walked up to him, shook his hand, said “Thanks for the opportunity”. I did this out of politeness, and because he wasn’t expecting it. The look on his face was priceless!

What Happened Here?

Despite lasting about five minutes, I learned two valuable lessons from that interview:

  • Always trust your instincts
  • First appearances may be right

My instincts told me not to go, and numerous alarm bells rang in my head throughout the morning. Yet I carried on with the interview, and nearly got into a full-blown argument. That’s never happened before, and I hope it never happens again in an interview, otherwise my career prospects will start to look a little bleak.

I also learned that your first impression of someone may indeed be right. Although the interviewer had an appearance that reeked of ‘city prick’, I tried my best not to judge him by that. Unfortunately, his arrogance removed any respect I had for him, and my first impressions turned out to be right. He also had first impressions about me, which weren’t true – I wasn’t in a secret partnership with the other candidate, and I wasn’t after an ‘office job’ for the rest of my life. Not that I’m saying I knew better than him, but if he had said that I wasn’t interested in the role straight-away, he would have been right.

All in all, I learned a few things about life from the worst interview I’ve ever had. So it was worth going in the end, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to write this post.

Now it’s your turn…

What experiences have you had with interviews?

Have they been as bad as this one?

Do you find your judgement of others turning out to be right?

Let us know!

5 Reasons You Will Get Me to Subscribe to Your Blog

Editor’s Note: Hello My Lovelies. I hope you’re all having a good start to the week. I’m gonna’ cut through all the blah blah and simply tell you that I have a great post for you today from my good friend (and yours) John Falchetto, the Expat Life Coach.

John’s rich cultural background and experience make him someone you definitely want to get to know and become friends with – both online and off! Having lived and worked as an entrepreneur in 3 different continents and countries such as Egypt, Dubai, France…John’s life coaching skills will surely lend themselves invaluably to anyone looking to get clarity and results – both at a personal and professional level.

If you want to learn more about John and his entrepreneurial career, make sure to read his guest post for Troy Claus – Of Pitfalls and Provence. Needless to say that I highly recommend you subscribe to his blog and follow Mr. Falchetto just about everywhere; his blog, Facebook page, Twitter, home in Provence – okay maybe not that far, but you know what I mean ;). 

John Falchetto 5 Reasons You Will Get Me to Subscribe to Your Blog

The International Man of...(Fill in the blank!)

I discovered nittyGriddy blog, the creation of a writing pyromaniac called Ingrid Abboud back in January of this year. Her post was asking Technorati if they were blind, Do you See Me Now Technorati, made me laugh, fall off my chair and showed me that there was a light in the sameness of the social media echo chamber. So even if Technorati didn’t see her, I definitely chose to subscribe and became a fan.

Discovering nittyGriddy was only the beginning. Within the next few weeks I was going to subscribe and build some amazing relations with some great online friends. These are the five reasons which led me to subscribe to these awesome blogs.

1. Have some class

A few days before I read Griddy’s post on Technorati’s blindness I found Gini Dietrich’s Chris Brogan’s Ear Marketing is Wrong.  I loved the post not just because I was getting quite tired with the sycophantic behavior of many people online, but because of the way Gini handled her critics in her comments. This simply set her in a class of her own.

One young blogger then wrote a post entirely devoted to criticizing her and what did she do? She invited him to guest post on Spin Sucks. Take this for respecting all opinions. Something many seem to have forgotten last week when she advanced the idea that Brogan could be early about Google + business application.

2. Have disclosure

There is so much affiliate marketing going on sometimes even the big wigs get caught with their fingers in the cookie jar. I found Danny Brown when he wrote about the need for disclosure and more importantly a disclaimer when a blogger suddenly started giving health advice. If you want to know what full disclosure looks like, read this.

3. Be generous

Last week I felt sad because one of the first person to help and guide me online announced he was going to stop blogging. Mark Harai, a mentor for a digital baby like myself, showed generosity and took the time to connect with and build a relationship when I knew nobody and nobody read my blog. I don’t know how I will ever repay his generosity, I just hope he gets back online and shares his immense value again.

4. Write from personal experience

Mark Harai tried very hard to convince me that I should break my rule of not following Avatars of animals and start reading The Sales Lion. At first I thought Mark had spend too long on the beach that day.

Well let’s just say that I am happy I broke that rule and started reading Marcus Sheridan, a friend who always writes from personal experience. I find this to be a rare quality in the blogosphere. We can easily find someone giving advice on how to make a post go viral or get hundreds of comments even though they have never done it themselves.

Marcus (aka Mufasa as Griddy nicknamed him) walks the talk and then shows me how it’s done.

5. Have a great mindset

When I first read JK Allen’s The Hustler’s Notebook, I thought this is what every entrepreneur should be doing before they start their business. The side-hustle is a concept I wish I had started when I was still employed and before I jumped into the crazy world of entrepreneurship.

JK is an inspiration, he succeeded in turning what many see as a source of desperation. He works in corporate America but is actually an intrapreneur, running his career like a business owner.

These are my five keypoints on my checklist to subscribe to your blog. Now what really matters is what are yours?

Three Blogs You Must Read

Editor’s Note: Hello My Lovelies. Hope you’re all having a great week. I’m actually still on vacation though my trip is slowly coming to an end and I’m already starting to stress about returning to real life lol. OH well…such is the small price to pay for gallivanting the sands and seas.

As you might recall, I had my very first guest post featured on this blog this past week. My very dear friend Mufasa stepped in for me during my absence and wrote a kick-ass post which I’m sure will ring as true for you as it did for me and many, many others. This is the part where I tell you that if you haven’t read blah blah…read it now, now! And of course, share your thought with us while you’re there. You know how Marcus loves to hear what you think – as do I and everyone else in this awesome community!

Well, I’ve done it again. I asked another incredible blogger (who also happens to me my fabulous gal pal and VBFF) to step in and take the floor while I”m gone. Our very smart and adorable Aunt Gini has graced us with her virtual presence today and has shared with us 3 fantastic blogs that are an absolute must.

So without further ado, please welcome the very smart and popular Gini Dietrich from Spin Sucks and Spin Sucks Pro. If you’re not already stalking Gini, then Twitter is a good place to start. After that, I’d join her Facebook group which is as intelligent, happening and alive as her blog – and as they come for that matter. I’d give you her phone number and personal email but then she’d never agree to write here again so I better not ;).

Gini Dietrich Three Blogs You Must Read

Aunt Gini lookin' all serious and stuff lol ;).

A couple of weeks ago, solopreneur and PR pro extraordinaire, Kellye Crane, wrote a blog post title, “Three People You Must Read.”

She recommended Valeria MaltoniDavid Meerman Scott, and Jeremiah Owyang.

I concur!

Then Justin Goldsborough followed suit and recommended three of his own.

Well, Griddy aka Brigitte aka VBFF said I could write about anything so I’m going to do the same for you.

Three Blogs You Must Read

I’m going to take a different path and leave the PR/communication world for my recommendations. Instead, I’m going to look at really thoughtful leaders that have business, entrepreneurial, or leadership blogs.

The first is Jeff Jarvis who I, admittedly, have a brain crush on.

The crush started when I read “What Would Google Do.” It’s only increased since reading his blog consistently. But I’m finally willing to admit it publicly after he went off on Washington about the debt ceiling. I won’t repeat the vulgarity here, but it’s worth a trip to his blog to see it.

His blog, Buzz Machine, is a not-to-be-missed daily read. And, if you haven’t read “What Would Google Do,” do it now. Reading him makes me think about running my own businesses differently. Away from the echo chamber.

Coming into the second spot is Harvard Business Review. It doesn’t matter what you do for a living, HBR has something for you.

In just the two past days, they covered everything from the U.S. economy and targeting female customers to managing cash flow and community service inside your company.

My favorite bloggers for them are Alexandra Samuel and Umair Haque.

And last, but most certainly not least, is nittyGriddy.

What? That’s cheating because you’re already reading her?

OK. Fine.

The third is Jay Rosen’s Pressthink.

Jay is a press critic, an observer of journalism’s habits. He also is a journalism professor at NYU, where he directs Studio20, a master’s level program that looks at journalism in the digital age.

To say he’s smart is putting it lightly. Even if you’re not into journalism or writing, his thinking explores what’s happening to our world because of technology. It’s smart, it’s savvy, and it’s pretty unconventional.

And there you have it. What are the three blogs you think everyone should read?

8 Reasons You Should Never Quit Writing, Blogging, and Believing

Editor’s Note: As a few of you might already know – I’m currently travelling and on vacation :). Actually, I have been for the last week in case my online absence didn’t give it away already. I’d tell you all about and where but then you’d dislike me a little more so let’s just say it’s sunny, sometimes windy and the sea is as blue as they come.

During my absence I asked my very good friend Mufasa if he’d honor my community and I with a guest post (the first ever on this blog) and lucky for me he said YES :D! In true nittyGriddy style, please join me in welcoming Marcus Sheridan from The Sales Lion and his fantastic article on why you should never quit writing, blogging and believing.

If you don’t follow him already, then head over to Twitter right now and stalk the crap out of that lion. His roar is a friendly and gentle one and you’re sure to love him, his amazing blog and the incredibly engaging community that he’s built.

Marcus Sheridan aka Mufasa  8 Reasons You Should Never Quit Writing, Blogging, and Believing

Mufasa the Mane Man!

Something very interesting happened on my blog a few days ago that made Griddy and I raise an eyebrow. Basically, one of our very good friends in the blogosphere, Mark Harai, openly discussed his decision to stop blogging. Much to our surprise, Griddy, me, and many others chimed in, showing Mark our support and letting him know how much we appreciated his past writings.

But as I thought about Mark’s decision to quit/take a break (which is mainly due to what he feels is his inability to produce as much great content as other bloggers), I began to ponder all of the wonderful benefits to blogging that we often times overlook, likely because ideas of ‘fame, fortune, or ‘world dominance’ (not in Mark’s case though) cloud our perspective. So without further ado, here are my thoughts, and I very much look forward to hearing yours below.

8 Reasons You Should Never Quit Writing, Blogging, and Believing

1. A Diary of Your Life

Most folks don’t keep journals these days, which is really a shame, because they can tell a person, and their posterity, a heck of a lot. But for those bloggers that actually integrate personal ‘stuff’ into their writings, their blog in many ways becomes an ongoing journal of their life, one that will be treasured down the road as a history piece to look back on and enjoy.

During my many months of blogging, I’ve written many, many articles that discussed my family, especially my 4 children—like  the time I built a sandcastle with my 4 year old or the experience I had with my oldest daughter coming back from an all-star baseball game. Without question, all of these stories will be treasured by our family for many, many generations.

2. Forced Cognition

Have you ever had a problem and the minute you sat down to write about your thoughts the answer you were looking for just came? For many writers, this is a common occurrence, and it really stems from the fact that the brain is like any muscle, and at times needs to be activated. But once it has been ‘turned on’, great inspiration and ideas can follow. This is also why some of my greatest ideas in business and in life have come as I was sitting in front of my monitor, slapping away at the keys, only to have an unexpected idea bolt into my head, just waiting to be made a reality.

 3. Enhanced Writing

Raise your hand if you’d like to be a better writer? <Pause here, I’m counting everyone’s hands> Yep, looks like it’s unanimous, we ALL want to be better writers. But as our fellow blogger Paul Wolfe often says, the only way you get better at writing is, well, writing…

I don’t know about you, but when I look back on my original posts from 20 months ago, I find myself cringing at my writing style, but at the same rate, it’s quite rewarding to know I’ve improved quite a bit since those initial days. That’s the beauty of blogging. Yes, for most folks, the writing is tough at first, but without question it gets easier and easier—and more enjoyable too!

 4. Relationships

Some of my best friends in the world have been formed online. I really had no idea this would be the case when I started blogging, but it’s only a natural result of reading someone’s constant thoughts, mutually supporting each other’s works, and maybe even meeting in person—as I did with Aunt Gini and Uncle John in Blog World New York a few months ago. (Griddy was supposed to come too, but claimed to be ‘too busy’ when the date finally came. Griddy busy??? Yeah, right! 😉 )

5. Virtual Resume

Within the next few years, resumes as we currently know them will essentially be extinct—and well they should be, because they’re antiquated and inapplicable when it comes to showing actual performance in the 21st century. This being said, recruiters and business owners in the future will be hiring more and more based on ‘actual works’. In other words, instead of listening to a potential employee talk about how much they know about ‘their field’, candidates will be forced to ‘show’ their works, and if someone has a blog which is essentially a platform for the world to see how they think and what they know, they’ll have all the advantage when it comes to the hiring process.

6. Discipline

Who can’t use a little more discipline in their lives? I think most of us will answer in the affirmative to that question and I can personally attest to the fact that I’m a way more disciplined individual now than I was 2 years ago when I started blogging. Having set posting schedules, working until late in the night, and nurturing community are clearly activities that require quite a bit of good ‘ol discipline—and there’s no way around it.

7. The Things You’ll Learn About You

There is something absolutely powerful about putting our thoughts to pen (or in this case, keyboard) over the course of months and months. As we do this, we learn more about ourselves, our strengths, and our weakness than we would with just about any other activity. We also confront issues that we may never have otherwise dealt with nor discussed. This is the power of blogging, and it’s certainly real as it gets.

 8. You Will Change Lives

If you’ve been blogging for a while, there is a very good chance you have touched and change lives—the majority of which you’ll never even know. I’m always amazed when I get an email from someone explaining how they’ve been reading my blog for a long time and that it has greatly impacted their life (even though I’ve never even seen the person in the comments section or received contact from them previously). It’s moments like these that make all the hard work, long hours, and sleep-lacking nights well worth it.

So there are my top 8 reasons why we should keep blogging despite our perceived lack of ‘success’. I’ve intentionally left out a few other thoughts that came to mind because I wanted to leave room for Griddy’s awesome community (that’d be you guys) to share all your great reasons as well. So c’mon and jump in everyone, let’s see what else we can come up with.

Did you like this post? If so, then please subscribe to my blog and join one of the best communities on the web (next to Griddy’s of course 😉 ) (Editor’s note: Awwww, thanks M. I would say Mufasa’s community rocks, roars and then some!)


Powerful Life Lessons: 14 Things I Want You to Learn from Me (Or at Least Consider)

Life Lessons Powerful Life Lessons: 14 Things I Want You to Learn from Me (Or at Least Consider)

Life Lessons: What that brain of mine has accumulated.

My very smart friend and Social Median Margie Clayman, recently wrote an amazing blog post called, “What I want you to learn from me”. In it, she shares a bit of herself by telling us what she’s come to realize either through her experiences or those of others. If you ask me, she’s been very generous in giving us some wise advice when it comes to succeeding and life in general.

This grand blogosphere of ours is in large part about learning and helping each other in any way we can. And while we attempt to provide our audience with value – each in our own way and style – we ultimately open the door to a part of our lives by revealing (whether consciously or not) bits and pieces of our true self and personality.

After all, it’s what allows us to connect and determine whether we’re interested in one another – opinions, beliefs and all.

If you recall, I did a little piece on my birthday back in November where I shared 17 things about me and then again a few weeks ago where I asked you to Bring IT! and share 17 things about yourself that we’re not likely to find online. I even made it easy for you and provided the questions – which of course, I answered as well.

Well I decided to take Margie up on her offer [see the end of her post] and write a similar piece that lists 14 things I’d love for you to learn from me. Granted, I’m far from being a life connoisseur or “know it all”. But much like you – I’ve learned a few things here and there throughout my years of experience and my time breathing on this earth. Things that have generally worked for me and that I hope will work for you too.

So without further ado and blah blah, here are my 14 commandments or little rules of life, if you will.

  1. If you don’t like and respect yourself, no one else will. I have more faults than I care to imagine. But I know that I have a ton of qualities as well. Regardless of everything, I like who I am and I have a tremendous amount of respect for myself and everything I stand for. I carry myself in a manner that exudes confidence and pride in my upbringing and character. If you appear to others like someone who doesn’t respect themselves, you make it much easier for them to disrespect you. People can often perceive you as you perceive yourself. For a woman, this rule is one that best be remembered.
  2. Don’t be envious of others. Appreciate your uniqueness and your self-worth because you have something to offer that no one else does. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Count your blessings and realize that you possess a personality and specific qualities or traits that are YOU and only you!
  3. Live the life you want, not the one that others expect you to. People – specifically your family and friends – generally expect great things from you when they believe in your potential. And they should. But make sure to expect the same from yourself. Don’t simply be great because others want you to. Be great because YOU want to! Because you can’t see yourself living any other life than your own.
  4. Don’t do unto others what you don’t want them to do to you. This way of life doesn’t have to be in the Bible or any religious testament for us to realize its importance . If you don’t like something being done to you, probability is that neither will others.
  5. Focus on the 98% that’s right in your life instead of the 2% that’s wrong. We so often worry and lose sleep over the little petty things in life and forget to be thankful for the great things that we have.
  6. Overnight success is a myth not worthy of a fable. I think anyone and everyone who lives and breathes social media knows what I mean by this. Overnight success comes from months, years and decades of perseverance, diligence, patience and hard work.
  7. Don’t expect anything in return for your good deeds. Don’t do something for someone simply because you expect them to return the favor or gesture. Do it because you genuinely want to. You’d be surprised by how much more often than not your thoughts or actions will be appreciated and maybe even reciprocated. If it’s within your means and power to help someone – then help!
  8. When you’re faced with a tough decision, writing down the pros and cons on a piece of paper will enlighten you more than you think. You might think this is silly, but trust me – it works! Even for the simplest of things such as relationships for example. It’s like the difference between imagining a picture in your head and looking at it directly. If you’ve ever written a SWOT analysis for a project, then you know what I mean.
  9. To every crisis is an opportunity. As unfortunate as that statement may sound, it’s often very true. It’s similar to the saying, “for every door that closes, there’s a window that opens”. Take the recent demonstrations in the Middle East for example. It’s been sad to see what’s been happening but at the same time, the merchant who sells flags and banners has made quite the killing. What about the company that sold Tamiflu during the “swine flu” outbreak? What about non-material things – such as learning, growing, reflecting or becoming better than before from whatever may have occurred? Like I said, there is a seed of opportunity that lies in every crisis.
  10. Life sometimes throws you a curve ball. Have your glove ready to catch the son of a bitch! And if you must – throw it right back.
  11. Diplomacy, courtesy, honesty and respect go a long way and will get you everywhere.
  12. Don’t live to work. Work to live. I don’t care how much you love your job. Even if you’re a Lifestyle Entrepreneur like me, who aims to profit from passion. Your work shouldn’t be your life. Your family and friends should!

As for numbers 13 and 14…Well, those are special to me because I’ve been hearing them from my father since as early as I can recall. I might have been hearing him back then, but today…I’m listening – loud and clear!

Life 101 Powerful Life Lessons: 14 Things I Want You to Learn from Me (Or at Least Consider)

13.  Close one eye and open the other, and the years will have flown by. I was an 8 year old kid living in Cairo, Egypt when I first heard that old age Arabic expression. And my dad’s probably said it to me 100 times since. But I vividly remember when he said it to me before I left for college. He said they would be the fastest 4 years of my life. No truer words were ever spoken.

I accorded my twin half-brothers the same wise words of advice before they went off to college 3 years ago. I also included “have a blast” and the end of golden nuggets – contrary to my father’s version for me lol. They recently reminded me of it when they couldn’t believe they only had one year left to graduate.

All I mean to tell you here, is make every moment count for time is beyond precious and there’s no getting it back!

14. It is possible to one day lose everything or everyone you love…your house, spouse, money and all your belongings. But the one thing that you can never lose and that no one can take away from you, is your education; the one you get at home and at school. How right he is!

I’m pretty sure that my father isn’t reading this (or this blog in general for that matter) – so I’ll have to remind him one day that I do pay attention after all ;).

Okay, I think I’ve mused enough – although I’m sure you know I could easily drop another 20 lol!

Now it’s YOUR TURN to share and teach me something. Don’t be shy and don’t think for a minute that there’s nothing more to add here. 

What have you learned by experience or through others?

What wise words of advice do you have for me and this community?

You can either write them here in the comments section or in a post on your blog. Just remember to link back to this piece if you do. The choice is yours and the floor…well, that’s all yours too ;)!

[image credit: (Education) via Gameover’s Blog; (Life 101) via Pioneer Drama Service]

On Not Giving a Damn and SuperPost Sunday #36

I dont give a damn On Not Giving a Damn and SuperPost Sunday #36

Do I really need to tell you who that is and what timeless classic that line is from?

Hello My Lovelies,

Well…it seems I left you empty handed the last couple of Sunday’s when it comes to sharing my SuperPosts with you :(. I hope you missed my bantering and recommendations as much as I did!

As I said in my last post, Greatness Around the Blogosphere and My Top June (S)Talker, I won’t feed you any bullshit and blah blah as to why I was often absent or less active. But what I will tell you – is that besides my latest finds, I’ve also included a few posts I had originally intended to feature in the last two Sunday’s that I skipped.

On Not Giving a Damn

Last week, my very good friend Mufasa – who also goes by the real name of Marcus Sheridan (HA!) – published a piece called, 7 Phenomenal Bloggers That Really Don’t Care If You Like Them or Not where he featured a few of my favorite bold bloggers who are comfortable in their skin and usually tell it like it is – no matter what! If you haven’t had the chance to read this article, I recommend that you do.

At the end of his post, Marcus asked us (his readers) to add our own list of fearless bloggers and to think about whether we’ve ever filtered our content in fear that others (and our community) wouldn’t agree with us.

As for folks (other than the one’s Marcus already listed) who I think have a ton of cojones and who have no problem speaking their minds – unfiltered and all…here goes:

Erika Napoletano from Redhead Writing

Ashley Ambirge from The Middle Finger Project

Ana Hoffman from Traffic Generation Cafe

Alex Whalley from Build. Rank. Profit.

Nancy Davis from Nancy A. Davis

Davina Brewer from 3Hats Communications

Dino Dogan from DIY Blogger

And of course Marcus Sheridan from The Sales Lion. It seems Marcus forgot to include himself in that list of great ballsy writers, so I figured I’d do that for him ;). Now I’m sure I too forgot to mention a few, so please go ahead and add on to this list either here or over at Marcus’s blog.

As for filtering my content in fear of what others might think. Well…it’s a known fact that we can’t please everyone – whether online or off. But I also think that deep down, many of us if not most, would prefer to be liked. Prefer – being the operative word. Some of us care whether we are or not, and others don’t give a damn. Either way, what’s important is to remain true to ourselves and our own views. It’s okay to think differently and have an opinion of our own. We can’t always all agree with each other. Our lives and experiences are our own. It’s part of what makes us unique.

In all honesty, I’d like to believe that I’m the type of gal who tells it like it is. I’m not big on sugar coating but I do recognize the need for it at times – depending on the sensitivity of the issue. It’s just a matter of common sense I suppose.

But then again, I don’t recall writing too many highly controversial posts. I do know that I’ve backed off from writing a few that I had on my mind because I realized they weren’t worth it after all. Not because I knew I’d receive backlash – I can generally take it and I know I have a few knights in shining armor that will have my back. But because the event or person wasn’t worth the attention they would receive.

When I write something, I’m not out to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings. I state my opinion based on my experiences and what I know and people have every right to disagree with me – as long as they do so in a respectful manner that is.

Anyways, I think I’ve somewhat answered Marcus’s question although I’m sure I could write another thousand words on the topic lol. But I’ve kept you waiting long enough for the goodies so I’m gonna’ shut it for now and leave you with some of the great reads I came across over the last 2 weeks or so.

Time for the Goodies

Without further ado and blah blah,” here are this Sunday’s wicked SuperPosts on all things Social Media, Blogging Tips, SEO, Internet Marketing, Traffic Building, Online Money Making Tools and more

Social Media

If you’ve ever stopped by any of my online imprints (Twitter, Facebook, my blog – RedheadWriting), it’s evident from the get-go that I have a certain affection for blue language. Grandmothers and god-fearing folk…

What happens to your website traffic and leads if you stop blogging for six months? Comparing data points shows the impact on a business and what type of return can be expected when turning the switch on and off versus…

Building a business is easy. Start with an idea. Find a wicked developer who is willing to work 80 hours a week for small paycheck and equity. Spend some time on Sand Hill Road. Hire smart people and then watch…

On May 2nd 2011, Danny Brown posted an article that made me think maybe more than anything I’ve ever read on the blogosphere. The title of the article was “The Mind-Numbing Banality of Sameness”, and to close…

Do you know if you’re having an impact on Twitter, Facebook and other social media networks? Do you want some tips on how to measure your social media influence? As Twitter continues to grow, tools…

Women are less savvy than men at social networking, according to the social scientists over at LinkedIn. On Wednesday, the professional networking site published a report comparing habits of men and women…

Facebook is seeing a decline in use. Studies show that users are un-Liking business pages. Consumers are getting savvy and more jaded about businesses use of social media—and they’re responding negatively…

Have you ever seen a bank run? You know what I’m talking about – people are afraid that the bank will run out of cash, so they want to withdraw all their money. Ultimately, this forces the bank to shut down. I’ve seen two and a half…

Are you struggling to make social media work for your business? Sometimes a few well-chosen tools are all you need to get your social media marketing working for you. In our recent Social Media Success Summit…

Mr. Danny Brown, a renowned sheep expert (according to Klout) visits me on the set of Talk is Sheep and discusses two different fur types sheep have in Scotland, best ways to avoid rash in the undercarriage area…

Three fundamental changes to the media business are threatening the current business model for digital media agencies. These are: the ubiquity of platform technology, the shift back to premium placements as brand budgets return…

We were all probably taught the difference between listening and hearing when we were children. “I hear you,” you say. No doubt you’ve uttered that or had it uttered to you. But is it enough? We all have a fundamental need…

I knew when I saw this video on YouTube from today’s guest Amy Martin, I had to get her back on the show to share some lessons with the RISE community. Amy is one of the FIRST guests I ever interviewed on Skype…

Blogging Tips

Whether you’re a blogger or a content marketer who blogs, the quality of your blog posts or website articles will go a long way towards your success or otherwise in meeting your goals. The quality of your blog posts…

One of the things I love about coming to Find All Answers is that I can get excellent blogging tips and relationship advice all in one place. Now that’s an efficient use of my time! It got me thinking – in many ways, engaging…

Traffic Building

Utilising the power of the keyphrases that people use online has enabled me to make a full-time income since February 2009. I’ve spent the last two and a half years of my life doing nothing but using my own tactics…

Internet Marketing

Most people struggle with email marketing because they think email is … email. But it’s not. At least, not when you’re selling online. When you’re selling with email it’s far more like talk radio than it is sending an email…


Being a complete and total John Lennon nut along with being a possessor of a photographic memory, I happen to know that today marks a key and tragic day in Lennon’s life. You see, it was on July 13, 1958 that John’s…

Every week I constantly come across people who want to follow my entrepreneurial footsteps. Although I don’t think I have accomplished much for my age, I am always open to helping other people out. But one thing…

Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals, but not others? If you aren’t sure, you are far from alone in your confusion. It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people are pretty lousy…

Sport has taught me a lot about myself. As an asthmatic, my childhood was spent watching my friends run around parks. By my teenage years I started learning how to control my respiration through yoga and by college…

I’ve been on Google+ for a couple weeks now, and I’m definitely a fan. Here’s a big list of 61 tips for, thoughts on, and suggestions for Google+. Be warned: This list is epic…

We all have them. Bad days that make us wonder why we do what we do, whether in our own business or for our employer. Or we wonder why we’re with our partners when we have an argument. Or we see the size of our email…

[image credit: via We Heart It]

Greatness Around the Blogosphere and My Top June (S)Talker

Mr. Awesome Greatness Around the Blogosphere and My Top June (S)TalkerYes, Yes…I know! I’ve been a bit MIA the last 2 weeks or so. My bad folks!

I have tons of excuses – some good, some less – but I’ll spare you the blah blah and simply tell you that I have no intention of making this a habit and my blogging life should be back to normal mode very soon.

I also realize that I haven’t gotten around to replying to all the incredible comments on my last post, Bring IT! How Do You Deal with Negative Comments and Criticism on Your Blog? Needless to say that I have read each and will be replying to all of them shortly. In the meantime, if you haven’t had the chance to share your thoughts on that piece and join the valuable discussion, make sure to head over there and see what others had to say in terms of how they treat tactless trolls and others on their blogs.

Greatness Around the Blogosphere

Every once in a while, great people do great things. And in this vast blogosphere of ours, greatness is something you come across quite often if you know where to look.

Stuart Mills and Value

My friend Stu (Stuart Mills) from Unlock the Door ran an incredible series over the last few weeks on the topic of value. He asked 67 people to answer the simple yet thought-provoking question – how do you provide value? Needless to say that provide value… is exactly what each of them did!

If you ask me, Stu could have easily published this 12 post series of his as an eBook – which I still think he should and I’m sure you’ll agree with me once you’ve read through some of the inspiring answers by friends and fellow bloggers such as Glen Allsopp from ViperChill, Davin a Brewer from 3Hats Communications, JK Allen from the Hustler’s Notebook, Paul Wolfe from One Spoon at a Time, Yaro Starak from Entrepreneur’s Journey, Danny Iny from Firepole Marketing, Yours Truly and numerous others who I’m sure you’ve heard of or read on a regular basis.

Nicely done Stu, and thanks again for featuring me there among some of the great!

Margie Clayman’s New Blog Library

Another blogger who’s also offering a ton of value is Margie Clayman with her new Blog Library.

Margie’s done something fantastic here in that she’s not only promoting others but continuously curating blog posts by category and author so that you can read them at any time and get different perspectives on each available topic. Basically – she’s taking the best of the best and making them available for you. What this also means is that you no longer have to go to 100 different blogs to see what people are saying about a specific subject.

For example, there’s already 18 articles that address the new and much talked about Google Plus, 10 on parenting and family, 20 on self improvement and so on… All you have to do is skim through the abstracts and click on the one that interests you to be taken to the actual site.

Margie’s Blogopedia-style site is just so practical and serves as a great reference for research and smart reading. Kudos to her for starting that up!

Gini and Shonali Raise the Bar Once Again!

These two fabulous ladies don’t need an introduction.

If you don’t know Gini Dietrich (aka Aunt Gini) from Spin Sucks and Shonali Burke from Waxing Unlyrical, then you don’t know PR, Social Media and community building! Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating a bit but seriously, these women who I’m honored to call good friends (Gini being my VBFF) are the prime example of how to be successful both in the blogosphere and real life – or offline as I prefer to say, seeing that blogging is very much REAL LIFE to me!

About a week or so ago, the very sharp Arik Hanson from Communications Conversations kindly asked if I would write a small recommendation for Gini and her blog Spin Sucks who had just won the PR Reader’s Choice Blog Award as Blog of the Year. Somehow, I managed to keep my reco under 100 words lol! A bit phat WOOT to Aunt Gini and a small one to me for being somewhat succinct ;).

Shonali’s blog took home the Most Thought-Provoking blog award – one that’s well deserved indeed! Please make sure to head over to Arik’s winner announcement post and congratulate these two fab gals on a job well done.

John Falchetto – My Top Commenter for June

John Falchetto Greatness Around the Blogosphere and My Top June (S)Talker

John Falchetto - Husband, Father, Friend, Blogger and Expat Life Coach

But before you head for the goodies, I’d like for you to congratulate my top friendly stalker for June – John Falchetto – author of the very smart and popular blog, Expat Life Coach.

During the month of June, John left a total of 34 comments on this blog :D.

June top commenters Greatness Around the Blogosphere and My Top June (S)Talker

As you can see, he was closely followed by May’s winner, Bill Dorman and Aunt Gini who took home the bronze. I tell ya, I’m just lovin’ this monthly race for the gold! What’s even better is that so far, it’s a been a different person who wins every month so it gives me the chance to feature someone new here every time.

John is just about one of the friendliest and most supportive people you can meet. I’m honored to call him a friend and I learn something new every time he publishes a post.

He fully understands the power of community and building meaning relationships online. But what’s even better, is that when he connects with you – he does so because he’s genuinely interested in you and what you have to say. His rich cultural background, intelligent mind and life coaching skills will undoubtedly captivate you and make you want to get to know him better. And you definitely should if you don’t already! He’s an awesome storyteller who’s not afraid to speak his mind, and he always finds a way to relate his numerous entrepreneurial experiences to social media – all while generously promoting other bloggers within each post.

Needless to say that I could toot Falchetto’s horn for another 2 pages but I wouldn’t want you to start throwing virtual eggs at me. So, I’ll stop here and simply tell you to head over to his site and read as many of  his posts as you can. Oh, and while you’re there, make sure to congratulate him as well as the team at Bonsai Interactive (meaning Lisa Kalandjian from Scene Steeler Graphics, Danny Brown and Troy Claus) for his newly designed and kick-ass looking blog. The headline alone should give you a decent idea of the type of international person to expect.

To get you started, here are 3 of his most recent posts:

[image credit: Mr. Awesome via Cafe Press]

Bring IT! How Do You Deal with Negative Comments & Criticism on Your Blog?

Negative Blog Comments and Trolls Bring IT! How Do You Deal with Negative Comments & Criticism on Your Blog?

Dealing With Negative Blog Comments & Criticism

Whether you like it or not, negative blog comments are bound to happen. And they’ll do so in many ways by many different types of commenters

Here’s the thing folks – at some point during your blogging journey, you might create some controversy or write something that will bring out the Wrath of Khan in someone. And that’s totally fine – we all know that you can’t please everyone and though you might be likeable to many (or most) – you can’t be to everyone. Except for me of course lol. I”m kidding – I’m sure there’s plenty of folks out there who don’t appreciate Griddy and I’m okay with that. Grrr….:)

All jokes aside – I’m all for stating your opinion and disagreeing with someone if you actually do. It’s what a healthy and constructive discussion is all about. But there’s a way to disagree and a way to handle those people that do. And depending on how you do either – will make a hell of a difference to both you and your readers.

Danny Brown wrote a great piece on this topic a few months back called, Of Comment Trolls and Flash Mobs. You definitely want to check it out as he has some great insight for you and he goes a step further with advice on how to deal with attacks about you on someone else’s blog.

So How Do You Deal with Negative Comments on Your Site?

Do you reply politely? or at all?

Do you delete the comment?

Do you take on a defensive approach or tone?

Do you try and see where they’re coming from and why?

As for Me…

Seeing that I’m the owner and author of this blog, I have complete control over what is said here, who it’s said to and the tone that’s used. Now I may not be able to control a comment the second it’s published, but I sure as heck can do something about it once I read it.

Luckily for me, I haven’t had TOO much trouble with tactless trolls and other un-wanted commenters on this blog. The operative words being TOO MUCH! I’m blessed and honored to have an incredible community of intelligent, funny and respectful friends – or legitimate commenters if you will.

Dealing with a negative comment entirely depends on what is actually written and who it’s targeted to. I do have a comments policy on this blog although it’s not out in the open like most. You’ll find a little paragraph in my WTH is nG section which reads as follows:

*Although everyone is entitled to their opinion, I as well as others, would highly appreciate it if you were to refrain from using profanity, racial slurs, obscenity or any other kind of offensive and derogatory language that is targeted at others. These types of comments won’t be tolerated and are subject to being deleted if deemed inappropriate by ME.

 Note to self – make my comments policy a little more fun to read and find a better home for it somewhere on my home page ;)!

I have ONE rule when it comes to replying to comments of any kind – and that is – be POLITE or DIPLOMATIC if/when necessary and try to reason with the person if there’s room for it. This rule pretty much applies to my life offline as well. But this rule excludes comments from sex driven peasants or dickwads – those are ignored and go straight to the trash!

My blog is my baby. My sweat and tears go into it everyday (or almost). So if someone’s gonna’ stop by and urinate all over it (or the people that make it the great place that it is) – I’m gonna’ try to understand why – even if my blood pressure has shot through the roof.

The thing about trolls is that they sometimes make valid points but their lack of tact or rude tone sets you off. If I see that they’ve said something that actually makes sense and causes me to question my own views, then I’m going to want to know more. I thank them for their opinion and ask more questions – how and why. I also ask them to provide examples or go a little further into detail. If we come to an understanding – great. If we don’t, then I make sure to let them know that I respect their thoughts and that we should agree to disagree.

Remember that depending on how you reply to a comment can often determine the tone of the entire conversation that is to take place.

If it’s a tactless troll just out to get some attention, then I may politely ask them to change their tone – especially if their comment is directed at one of my other commenters. Danny Brown mentioned a great point in his article in that he’ll usually issue a polite warning and has what is called the 3 strike rule.

If one of my readers has been attacked on my blog, I may apologize to them myself for the unfortunate occurrence and let them know that the troll is being dealt with accordingly.

Another way I may deal with a negative comment is to send the person a nice email asking why and if there’s something I said that might have offended them. At this point, it’s always good to go back and read what you’ve written to try and understand what could have lead them to react the way they did. Are my facts wrong? Was my joke misplaced or unintentionally targeted at someone? Did I give credit where it was due?…

You have to remember that everyone is entitled to an opinion and there’s no harm in disagreeing with people – but at the same time, everyone is also entitled to a certain level of RESPECT!

If you want to disagree with me – by all means do so. Heck, I might realize that I was wrong in the first place and thank you for enlightening me further. But if you’re gonna disagree – whether here or elsewhere – do so with eloquence and respect. Be civilized. You’d be surprised how far you can go by simply being courteous towards others regardless of your opposing views. Make it a constructive debate instead of an argumentative one.

Anyhow, I’ve said enough. Needless to say there’s a lot more ways to handle such comments, but I’d love to hear from you and how you go about dealing with them yourself.

What About You?

What tips can you share for handling negativity on your blog?

Have you had to deal with negative comments in the past – either on your blog or elsewhere? How did you respond to them?

Do you have a comments policy on your blog that addresses this issue?

Make sure to share some specific examples if you have any.

Bring IT!

[image credit: via Drivinmedia]

Bring IT! Are You Settling for a Mediocre Life?

DSC03352 768x1024 Bring IT! Are You Settling for a Mediocre Life?

A Mediocre Life - The Thinker - Barcelona

So, are you?

Have you gotten so comfortable with the things you’ve SETTLED for that you’re afraid to come out of your comfy zone and go for the things you use to dream of? The life that you know will make you happy? The job you feel can fulfill you and allow you to grow both as an individual and a professional? The relationship you want that will bring you more laughter and joy than pain and sorrow?

Have we settled for a mediocre life?… is a question that we’ve all asked ourselves at some point or another. And many of us, for reasons such as fear or other, have in fact settled with parts of our lives. And more often than not, it takes that little extra kick in the butt to wake us up and get us back on track.

I would love for you to answer all these questions and more but for the first time in the short history of nittyGriddy, I’ve closed the comments section here (so painful to do lol) and instead, I’m asking you to Bring IT! over at Lori Gosselin’s house, Life, for Instance where I recently published my latest guest post, Are You Settling for Mediocrity?

Now if you know anything about my guest post philosophy, it’s that I always try to bring my A game over to the good people who are kind enough to host my words. I like to make sure that what I write is worthy of being featured in someone else’s home and that it will generate a thoughtful and healthy discussion. And this time is no different!

Actually, I lied. There’s a small difference this time round…that particular piece is less than 600 words! Get a hold of yourself…there’s no need to gasp! And YES, I’m feeling fine in case you’re wondering lol. It’s just that…wonders never cease lol ;).

Many of you already know my friend Lori, but if you don’t, you’re missing out! She’s quite the lady and a heck of a blogger.

So please make sure to head over there and share your thoughts on this important topic. Many have already, and you know how much I love a good party ;). Oh, and while you’re there, get to know Lori and her fabulous blog. It’s about as welcoming as they get (including Lori herself) and her wonderful community will make you feel right at home.

Still here?

Come on now…grab your flute, glass or mug of whatever and go join the awesome conversation.




SuperPost Sunday & My Top May (S)Talker

gold stars box SuperPost Sunday & My Top May (S)TalkerHello My Lovelies,

Yes, it’s SuperPost Sunday on a Monday. But if I were to give my same lame-ass excuse about my lousy internet connection you’d yawn of boredom and maybe even tear a little (like me) from irritation. So I sucked it up and said what the hell. I’ll publish my Sunday post on Monday and everything will be Aokay!


Cause it’ll be just as good and loaded with goodies worth reading!


Okay, now that that’s off my chest, let’s start over…

Hello My Lovelies,

Happy Belated Father’s Day!

I’m hoping you all had a great weekend and are ready for that dreadful day of the week they call Monday. Sigh…

I actually feel bad for Monday. I think it’s the most hated day and all the other day’s probably gang up on it. I mean seriously, you start thinking of Monday on Sunday and all of a sudden the pressure starts to build which automatically changes your mood.

That said, I think Monday mostly affects those folks with 9 to 5 day jobs. If you’re self-employed such as myself, John falchetto and countless others, than your Monday might be no different than a Tuesday or Friday. It all depends on your deadlines or client meetings and so forth. Heck, there are times I work on weekends till 5 am and do nothing during the week. They might be rare these days, but trust me, they do happen!

Bill Dorman – My Top Commenter for May

Anyhow, I think this little reminder of mine just caused you to like me a little less so I’m gonna’ stop while I’m ahead and instead tell you about last month’s Top Commenter and Friendly Stalker here on nittyGriddy. Don’t freak out – no one is following me home or breathing heavily into the phone or anything like that. I gave the term “friendly stalker” a whole new meaning when I featured Marcus Sheridan and Davina Brewer as the April winners.

Clap, clap clap and give it up for the NOT so invisible blogger, and my friend – Bill Dorman – who alone left a total of 57 comments during the month of May.

May top commenters SuperPost Sunday & My Top May (S)Talker

WOW – that’s pretty frickin’ impressive! I think Dorman just nailed the 4 D’s of (commenting) success. For Pete’s sake don’t look so confused! I’m talking about Desire, Drive, Dedication and droll. NOT troll…DROLL as in amusing and agreeable! Sheesh!

As you can see, Bill won by somewhat of a landslide leaving Mufasa and Davina in 2nd and 3rd. What’s really incredible though, is that combined, my top 5 commenters left a total of 160 comments. Now that’s what I call being engaging!

It’s no secret that people here like to compete (amicably and in a healthy fashion) for the medals and for the top spot. But what I love is the enthusiasm and fun that they display while going about it. And Bill is no different.

Now, I’m pretty sure many if not most of you, know Bill. But if for some reason you don’t, then I suggest you head over to his blog and connect with him on Twitter. He’s most definitely one of a kind and someone you want to call a friend.

If he likes you, your blog and your community – he’ll surely turn your comments section into one of the most pleasant places to hang out online. Not only is he loaded with humor, but he’s just about as friendly as they come…not to mention thoughtful, genuine, appreciative and clever.

I first met Bill when he was simply commenting on blogs –  including this one :D. At the time, he didn’t have one of his own, but reading his thoughts and conversing with him here and elsewhere was like a breath of fresh air. He exuded honesty and humaneness in everything he said. So of course, I did the only thing that seemed reasonable…I (as well as many others I’m sure) pestered him until he started his own blog lol.


Because his comments were like blog posts of their own (cough) and his friendly nature and knowledge would undoubtedly go a long way in this blogging world of ours! And on top of that, I was interested in what he had to share.

In  a matter of a weeks, Bill managed to build an engaging and loyal community. And to tell you honestly, it’s no surprise. This man makes such an effort to get to know those he likes and admires that it’s only natural to want to get to know him back. Much like Davina and others, he brings new meaning to the term “join the conversation” – for he doesn’t simply join it, he takes it to another level.

I could go on and write a small eBook about this wonderful fella’ but instead, I’d rather you visit his blog and read some of his posts. see for yourself why Bill is one of the most likeable people I’ve come across online!

Check out 3 of his most recent articles:

Time for the Goodies…

And now, without further ado and blah blah,” here are this Sunday’s rockin’ SuperPosts on all things Social Media, Blogging Tips, SEO, Internet Marketing, Traffic Building, Online Money Making Tools and more

Social Media

We are now entering an era of sociopolitical influence, a framework for governments that influences and is influenced by its constituencies through real life interaction and now, new media. Some may say that this…

Want to learn more about social media for marketing your business? Then you’ve come to the right place – the following are the top authorities in social media and online marketing, as ranked by the Adage…

Since the regime changes in Tunisia and Egypt, and other popular uprisings in Middle Eastern countries, there has been a lot of discussion about the importance of social media in mobilising protesters…

A lot of people, including me, spend a lot of time talking about what social media engagement is. I mean, some people even do a whole series based on that subject (heh heh heh). But I think sometimes it’s important…

Last year I created a list of 25 Women That Rock Social Media for 2010 which was well received and appreciated. Most of the women listed I’ve come to know through involvement in the Public Relations…

Facebook fan pages have emerged as a universal lifeline to customers. The number of brands sharing news, addressing customer service issues or fostering discussion in these passionate communities is growing…

Sometimes the path of least resistance unwinds into a far more complicated and arduous journey than we anticipated. In times of change, taking the path less traveled, although initially daunting, proves easier and…

A lot of times in the online world, you see “best of” lists for women. And that’s cool. I think that in a lot of instances women are woefully underrated in comparison to men, still. However, this does not mean that we…

We all want to do well on Twitter, we all want to reach out to maximum people out there. Higher influence can help you in ways more than one. Traffic to your website, help you gain publicity, get you noticed…

Many B2B marketers approach Facebook with the knowledge of how to maintain a personal profile, but still shake their heads at how to get results from a business Page for their B2B company. There are two basic…

I’ve written previously about the way some social media gurus are totally clueless when it comes to anything, other than building impressive looking social media followings. Well, even though influential…

Blogging Tips

I was along for the ride on one of the most contentious (according to comments) blog posts ever, and based on “Popular Posts” tallies in his sidebar the highest-number-of-comments (250) as of this moment…

Don’t you just love it when you put everything you’ve got into every post you write just to see it buried in the archives a couple of weeks later? Rhetorical question, I know… All is not lost however. You CAN find other…

When you’re blogging for business it’s easy to get caught up in writing compelling content, ensuring you have proper calls to action on posts where it makes sense, and sharing your content on every social network…

Is your blog on track to succeed? Regardless of whether you’re a blogging newbie or have been blogging for a while, it’s a good idea to check to see that you’re blog’s on course to achieve the goals you set for it…

Internet Marketing

The Law of Attraction is a multi-billion dollar industry that has as many critics as it does fans. Its fans rave over its benefits, while its critics point out flaws in its approach and its inability to be measured…

There’s an old and overused quote in business that says “nothing happens until someone sells something”. While it’s obviously an oversimplification, there’s something to say for sales being the very core of your…


Only few weeks ago I was against installing a commenting system on your blog and many of you agreed with me. However, I see more and more great blogs installing them and changing from the default commenting…


There’s an interesting thing happening online at the minute – people are beginning to see through crap and filter out inane. Long-term fans and advocates of bloggers and social media “leaders” are looking at them…

Hello. I’m a potential new customer and I just landed on your Web site for the very first time. I’m taking a look around and I think I may like what you’re offering. In fact, your services/that pair of shoes/that quirky…

I asked this question on LinkedIn in a couple of groups I am in. Here are some of the awesome responses people gave me. Read them and let me know your favourite ones…

Last Friday. 5:45 am. I just read and commented onDanny Brown’s post about Marketing and the Emotional Connection. The airplane doors closed. I am on my way home to Idaho for the week. I dutifully shut down…

I have been really chewing on this post for a few days now.  There are just so many good lessons here for bloggers in general, but especially for the small business blog or even the entrepreneur’s blog. Blogging got…

Benjamin Franklin was one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America (USA). A famous polymath, Franklin was a leading author and printer, political theorist, politician, postmaster, scientist…

I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell wasn’t born to be mediocre! I wasn’t born to be average either. Average might be normal – I get that. But in the grand scheme of things, it’s not for me and it shouldn’t…

[image credit: by Mark A. Hicks – Clip art licensed from the Clip Art Gallery on]