Miss Plastic Pageant

Are you serious?…as one of my good friends would so comically exclaim! As if the idea of having a miss plastic contest wasn’t nutty enough to begin with, the loss of one of the contestants was blamed at her boob overload. apparently, Alexandra Horvath’s new rack caused  her to topple off her high heels and injure herself – all because she hadn’t gotten use to the extra weight up top. In other words… she tipped over! At this point, the only image I have in my head is that of  the mean cow tipping game; where you sneak up on a sleeping, upright cow and push it over for fun.

What if Horvath had won? If  she thought her hair extensions were a bit on the heavy side, then surely the weight of the crown would have knocked her over for good!

missplasticconCEN 450x300 300x200 Miss Plastic Pageant


Isn’t it enough that we already have to listen to every ‘Miss’ something or other who has as much general knowledge as an ox, preach to us about world peace…and now this? What questions would they even ask the contestants? ‘Ms. Budapest, can you tell us how your  big bossoms and plumpy lips will benefit you in giving back to your community?

I mean really! What mastermind came up with the idea for this pageant? Because if you ask me, in some fucked up sort of way its absolutely brilliant; not to mention the great exposure that the surgeons will receive.

For those of you who live in the same country as I do, you know exactly what I mean! If i’m not mistaken, we rank 2nd in the world – after Brazil- for amount of plastic surgeries. Can you just imagine the scene if every pretty and proud plastic woman in town was to parade herself up and down an aisle alongside her favorite surgeon? I don’t think its a stage we’ll need… more like an olympic-sized standium!

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Oh So Natural!

I think we’ve got a goldmine of an idea here (hint hint!)


On a more serious and justifiable note though –  the original idea behind the contest was to show that surgery is not all about big breasts and bulbous lips. I really think there is much truth to this, especially when you consider the other, more pressing reasons to have plastic surgery; however, in this unfortunate and ironic twist of events, miss ‘clumsy cupcakes‘ came close to discrediting the otherwise valid nature of the contest’s original purpose.

There’s actually a bit more to this plastic pageant story. Understandably, I chose to focus on this occurrence due to obvious humorous reasons.

For the full facts and details, press on the direct link below.

Hungary Holds ‘Miss Plastic’ Pageant

Georgia Jail Goes Pink

it may look like barbie’s dollhouse, but i guarantee you, it isn’t… there’s no ken hiding in here!

the dolls inside this house are behind soon to be pink bars! georgia’s ben hill county jail is getting a new makeover that most inmates will not be thrilled about. pure pepto bismal pink is going to cover every wall inside the jail. you heard me right! and that’s not all folks… they are also going to have pink shower shoes, pink towels, pink wash clothes, pink sheets, pink blankets and get ready for this…pink handcuffs!

it’s not that sheriff mclemore is an avid supporter of breast cancer or that his interior decorator is on crack, it’s that he truly believes that this feminine color will help soften inmates and make them never want to come back. at this rate, by next spring, the sheriff will have turned the inmates into sopranos – and i don’t mean the cool gangster kind!

‘ladies and gentleman… the “pink cadillac” song – featuring the ‘all boys jailhouse choir’.

i think ben hill may just have given alcatraz a run for its money. where do i sign up for the next tour?

watch this fascinating 2 min documentary by msnbc.com

Ga. jail goes 'soothing' pink or see more Jail Videos

Google Wave: Real Time Communication & Collaboration on the Way

i’m not gonna’ pretend to be the most tech-savvy person on the planet, or in the neighborhood for that matter, but i do like to think that i’m relatively up-to-date with the things that i actually use. therefore, i will attempt to keep you informed about the latest, more interesting technological breakthroughs and news.

i realize that for some – and i’m not pointing fingers at a specific gender – the technology category (tech talk) may not be the first you’ll click on, but in case you decide to do so, you will find some information that may just wow you.

on that note… here is my first tech talk post about google’s upcoming internet communications platform known as google wave.

what is google wave you ask? well, up until 10 minutes ago, i  had absolutely no idea. So instead of me trying to explain and pretty much regurgitating what i just learned, i figured it would be a lot more interesting for you to watch this terrific 2 min video.

you can also go to the official google wave website and watch the original loooonger video.

don’t get too excited because google wave is only in beta/limited preview for the time being, but you can request an invitation to try it, as i just did; and then patiently wait.

after watching the original video, i can totally see how google wave will be the coolest way to communicate and collaborate online in real time.

Drunk Kid Humps Toy Giraffe

[NOTE: The original title of this post was “Drunk McHumping”]

How much must one guzzle down to make the term ‘drunken stupor’ the understatement of the year?  I mean c’mon Sean; a war371211 Drunk Kid Humps Toy Giraffestuffed toy giraffe? Was it the long slim neck and the soft spotted coat that tickled your pickle…not once, but twice?

Yes, you guessed it right! A highly inebriated 24 year old horndog by the name of Sean McDowell was simply smittened by a 4 foot stuffed giraffe outside the bug a boo store for children in Oregon. Boo indeed! Humpaholics Anonymous (HA) will be expecting your call in the morning  you naughty, naughty boy… that is of course once your massive hangover has passed and you’ve been reminded of your happy humping adventures!

Come to think about it, this would make one of the best bedtime stories that a bitter divorcee could tell her kids. “Come on guys, it’s time for bed…tonight, I’m gonna tell you the wacky tale of how daddy mounted Melman“.

And if you dont believe me, click on the link below and see for yourself.



From Ass to Zebra

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“an ass to the rescue!”

a palestinian donkey is being taped up and spray painted so as to look  like a zebra for eid al – adha festival. pretty funny eh? but then take a moment to consider the surrounding factors and your reactions may start to differ.

the different stages of reactions:

your first reaction: you pee in your pants laughing. i mean, just look at the picture – or even tell the story to someone over the phone – how can you not crack up? it’s a donkey being turned into a zebra with masking tape and paint!

your second reaction: you feel sorry for the poor donkey. as it is, even the happy donkey looks sad in general – their gentle and droopy eyes, their inability to compete with their horse siblings, their vegetarian diet… really, have you ever seen an ass that looks happy?

your third reaction: you wonder if you can tape the actual ass who is doing this to the donkey and see how he feels when you rip the tape off his hairy body. the idea may be ingenious but pretty cruel at the same time.

your fourth reaction: you take the circumstances into consideration. its a poor zoo in the middle of war torn gaza. they dont have money to buy or smuggle animals for the even poorer children to look at or play with. thus, the idea of turning an ass into a zebra with just a few brush strokes and some tape becomes the next best thing, and if you ask me, pretty nifty. now… you’re maybe thinking, wow! what a great way to entertain some misery driven children on a special occasion.

after all, only an ass would agree to stand still for a makeover.

they say a picture is worth a thousand words. in this case, it may be worth a thousand little happy faces!

open the link below for the original story.


Porky’s Farting Fiasco

Where do I begin?

Phyew 150x150 Porkys Farting Fiasco


According to numerous experiements and field studies that have been conducted over the last century by some of the world’s greatest scientific scholars and geniuses, it has been concluded that:

A gas leak smells like – rotten eggs

Gas passed from an animal’s rectum smells like – sh…t

Seeing that this ground breaking information has finally been released to the public, I say to you my fellow mates from down under…

What the heck do you feed your porkers? I mean really, how duping and strong can the smell of one animal’s toot actually be? Okay, so maybe I’m not that familiar with the smell of a pig’s fart (and I’m quite grateful for that matter) but unless that cute little 260 pound bacon bite had an omelette for breakfast, then his fart should smell like… well…shit!

*Food for Thought:

1) You are a farmer who lives on a farm

2) You live on that farm with animals, including pigs…

Did the foul odor really strike you as being strange? Seriously – what does your farm usually smell like – roses?

I just hope that those 15 firefighters and their 2 trucks were able to get rid of the stench!

Anyways, enough said. Read about babes’s baffling butt burps for yourself by clicking on the link below!

Pig Farts Spark Australia gas Scare

Forgive Me Father for I Am Poor

metro.co .uk  Forgive Me Father for I Am Poor

The good thing about having a customized Yahoo news page is you get to pick the type of information you want to read everyday. So besides having the ever so popular, intellectual and informative news snippets from cnn international, Fox News, Sky News, BBC, NYT, WSJ, Reuters… and even our local action packed Daily Star and L’orient le Jour, I also included a little thing called odd news. It’s a list of strange or weird and wacky events that believe it or not, take place everyday and everywhere!

Don’t get me wrong, I find it essential to keep up to date with the world’s latest discoveries, deals and disasters, including Brangelina’s 19th adoption child and Michelle Obama’s fashion frenzy; but I also need a good laugh now and then.

On that note, here’s an interesting story. A thief robbed a church but left a note saying, “sorry I’m poor“.

A thief with a conscience?Well, in that case, ten Hail Mary’s and keep the change my child! simple smile Forgive Me Father for I Am Poor

Check out the link below for the full story.

Church Thief Leaves Apology: ‘Sorry, I’m Poor.’

[image credit: metro.co.uk]

My First Blog!

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Griddy here!

So… I’ve finally decided to give this whole blog thing a try.

It’s like high school peer pressure all over again – “come onnn, it’s cool, everyone’s doin it”! Except in high school whatever it was they were doing, rarely involved the use of the brain.

So I said what the hell? After all, I do write for a living (in a round about more ‘businessy’ sort of way) and I figured there are only a few possible scenarios or outcomes.


1) No one will ever read this

2) Someone out there may be as bored as I am now and decide to give it a go

3) My friends will be super curious to know if I’m gonna reveal nitty gritty (you get the name now?), juicy, spicy details about my life

4) My friends will be super curious to know if I’m gonna reveal nitty gritty, juicy, spicy details about other people’s lives

5) It will become somewhat popular and more people will feel compelled to start a blog of their own

6) It will become the next best thing to religiously read or check after Facebook, Twitter, ASW… and all the other revolutionary – yet potentially homewrecking – social networking sites out there (highly unlikely, but worth the amusing thought!)

In a nutshell: I don’t know what I’m gonna write about every day, other day, week, month, whenever….. and I can’t promise that you’ll always be interested by the posts, but I will do my best to try and entertain you…somehow!

In the meantime, you’re gonna have to bear with me until I finish my wordpress for dummies crash course on themes and appearance, widgets and fidgets and God knows what else! Not to worry; it wont look as bland as it does now. After all, we do want this to have a small touch of Griddy!

Until next time.