An Interview Filled with Wisdom

Editor’s Note: Well folks…I’m back! I’m not sure if that’s a happy statement or not – cause I won’t lie to you – I was having a pretty good time being on vacation and all. But unfortunately you all know how quickly those go by :(. But I’ll tell you one thing – I’m most certainly psyched to see my blog and this amazing community again. I admit that I missed my blogosphere life way too much so in that sense – I’m definitely happy to back among you all!

As you might know, I asked a few good friends to step in for me with guest posts while I was away. And Marcus, Gini and John really outdid themselves and presented my community and I with fantastic pieces and discussion topics. I’m truly grateful to them for doing so.

If you haven’t had the chance to read their posts, I highly suggest that you do and join the conversations that are still taking place. Trust me, you won’t be sorry and there’s a lot to learn from each of these A+ peeps! 

I have another kick-ass post for you today from my friend Stuart Mills aka Stu. I’m sure most of you are familiar with Stu and his wonderful and very insightful blog, Unlock The Door. But if you aren’t, shame on you! But I forgive you as long as you head over there right after you read his guest article here and share your thoughts with us.

Stuart is a personal development blogger who wants to help you improve at life. He thinks you’re awesome. You can often find him at Unlock The Door where he writes constantly to make it a better day for everyone, and you should subscribe to his content here. Oh, and you should most definitely stalk him on Twitter.

Stuart Mills An Interview Filled with Wisdom

Stu Holding the Key to Unlocking the Potential in Your Life

“For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearance, as though they were realities and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are.”

Niccolo Machiavelli

Ever judged someone by their looks?

If the answer is “No”, then you have discovered some form of enlightenment and I applaud you for it. But I believe that most of you out there, if not all of you, will answer “Yes” to this question. We all judge by appearances, it’s human nature to. We don’t have the time to get to know someone, there’s just too much ‘rush-rush’ going on in our lives. We can’t even get our bills paid, let alone get to know someone off the street! And even if we started to learn more about someone, they may still surprise us by doing something unexpected. What alternative is there than to judge by first appearances?

Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for you, because I haven’t figured that one out yet. If I do, I’ll let you know, but until then don’t keep your hopes up. In the meantime though, I want to share a story with you. This incident happened about two months ago, when I went for a preliminary job interview after receiving a phone call from an agency. They’d seen my profile online, and wanted to invite me to their location to discuss a “Customer Service and Administration” role.

Now, this sounds good, but bear in mind that I hadn’t actually applied for this role – they contacted me out of the blue. And what’s more, I’ve had bad experiences with agencies contacting me before, which never lead anywhere. My instinct was to decline, but I was also curious, and agreed to go to the interview.

Fast forward to the day, and after waiting for a few minutes having filled in a form which was the same kind as used by agencies before (another alarm bell), I and one other interviewee were ushered into the interview room. Here was yet another alarm bell – interviews should be done one candidate at a time. Why were two of us going in?

In the interview itself, I met the interviewer for the first time. To me, and I’m not too proud to admit this, he looked like a ‘city prick’, someone who’s far more interested in making money and fame than actually paying attention to the people he’s just trampled over. He seemed friendly, but in a ‘snake-oil salesman’ way. I didn’t trust him, but I reminded myself not to judge immediately, and gave him the chance to express himself.

He started with the other candidate, getting to know each other. After a while, the candidate revealed that this job wasn’t what she was expecting, and she wouldn’t be interested in a ‘sales and marketing role’ (which is what it turned out to be). The interviewer thanked her for her time, they shook hands, and she left the room. Once the door was shut, it was just me, and the city prick.

The interesting thing was, I shared all of the concerns that the other candidate had expressed. This was not the role for me, I knew this now. I decided to tell the interviewer straight away so no more time would be wasted.

Here’s what was said, to the best of my memory:

Interviewer: So Mr. Mills, it says here that you’ve got experience in the retail field?

Me: Yeah, about 4 years worth. Listen, I was listening to the other candidate just now, and I think the same applies to me I’m afraid.

Interviewer: What do you mean?

Me: I don’t think this job applies to me. I was after a Customer Services role, like her, and this isn’t it. I think we’re in the same boat here.

Interviewer: I don’t understand what has she got to do with this?

Me: She hasn’t got anything to do with it, it’s just that we were both expecting something different. We were both told that this was a Customer Services and Admin role, and it’s not. I don’t think it’s right for me.

Interviewer: Hold on, did you two know each other beforehand?

Me: No, we…

Interviewer: Is this a set-up or something?

Me: No, God no! It’s just funny that we both had similar expectations and we’ve both realised this isn’t for us.

Interviewer: I don’t see your point here.

Me: All I’m saying is that I was after a role based in an office, doing different work than what’s offered here. I don’t want to work in a Sales role like this.

Interviewer: Well let me tell you, this isn’t just a Sales role. We train people to become Sales Managers, so that they become successful, and they lead people, which is clearly not what you want. You just want to work in an office, that’s your choice.

Me: I think we both know this isn’t going to work out.

Interviewer: Well, I hope you have luck finding your office job or whatever. At this point, he walked over to the door and opened it for me. I walked up to him, shook his hand, said “Thanks for the opportunity”. I did this out of politeness, and because he wasn’t expecting it. The look on his face was priceless!

What Happened Here?

Despite lasting about five minutes, I learned two valuable lessons from that interview:

  • Always trust your instincts
  • First appearances may be right

My instincts told me not to go, and numerous alarm bells rang in my head throughout the morning. Yet I carried on with the interview, and nearly got into a full-blown argument. That’s never happened before, and I hope it never happens again in an interview, otherwise my career prospects will start to look a little bleak.

I also learned that your first impression of someone may indeed be right. Although the interviewer had an appearance that reeked of ‘city prick’, I tried my best not to judge him by that. Unfortunately, his arrogance removed any respect I had for him, and my first impressions turned out to be right. He also had first impressions about me, which weren’t true – I wasn’t in a secret partnership with the other candidate, and I wasn’t after an ‘office job’ for the rest of my life. Not that I’m saying I knew better than him, but if he had said that I wasn’t interested in the role straight-away, he would have been right.

All in all, I learned a few things about life from the worst interview I’ve ever had. So it was worth going in the end, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to write this post.

Now it’s your turn…

What experiences have you had with interviews?

Have they been as bad as this one?

Do you find your judgement of others turning out to be right?

Let us know!

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About the Author

Ingrid Abboud aka 'Griddy' is a whole lot of things with a ridiculous amount of interests. For one, I'm a Social Media enthusiast with a tremendous passion for writing and blogging. I'm also a pretty cool Copywriter but a more serious MarCom Consultant. But most of all, I'm the proud owner and driving force behind nittyGriddy.com - A Kinda Social Media Journal with Net News & more.

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  • Christina Pappas

    I went on an ‘interview’ recently with a recruiting firm. When I got there, they asked me to fill out an application. Application? Haven’t seen one of those since high school or college. Bad feeling settles in. After speaking with the recruiter (keep in mind we had a lengthy conversation on the phone too) he says he has a sales/marketing job. I told him that I want to focus on marketing. I understand he is a recruiter and he is trying to sell me on a position but when the conversation turned to him trying to convince me to make cold calls ‘just at first’, I was looking for the door. He thought lead generation experience meant sales. Complete wasteof time and I should’ve walked out the second they handedme that application!

    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      That was a similar situation with me Christina, my alarm bells rang when I had to fill out that form, but I stayed, and the rest is history.

      Everyone has a job to do, but we’re not suited for every job. Better to go for the jobs we have a good feeling about :-)

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    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      I sure did Ana, and I’m glad I did. If I didn’t learn anything, I would have asked myself, “Why?” What was the point of attending that interview?

      Thankfully, I was able to write a post about this experience 😉

  • http://hajrak.blogspot.com Hajra

    Gosh, you are everywhere this week…eh, Stuart? 😉

    I have never had a bad interview…ever! Yes, that’s good luck maybe or I have had just two jobs or that we psychologists are the good sorts! :)

    But, I have had lots of friends complaining about bad interviews and interviewers and all that; but never had I gone through the terror of a bad interview!

    As for judging people, I could go on for ages about that! But don’t worry wouldn’t bother you so much with it right now! But yes, everyone makes a certain judgment about a person on the first time; but then if it comes in the way of healthy interaction then that makes it a problem! 
    Lovely to see you here too! :)

    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      I’m all over the place Hajra, like a bad rash 😉

      Thanks for commenting, I appreciate you taking the time to do so. And I agree with you about judgements coming in the way of healthy interactions – once judged, someone rarely gets a chance to make another impression.

      Take care my dear :-)

  • Andrea

    Hehe, it was so funny that the interviewer doesn’t listen to your reasons, I hate people who do that…

    My judgement based only on people’s appereance is not always right, especially with girls. Sometimes I see people through the glass of my own prejudices.

    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      We all do that sometimes Andrea, it’s part of the human condition. I can talk about it forever, but if I don’t do something to change my behaviour, it won’t make a difference :-)

  • http://www.slymarketing.com Jens P. Berget

    Wow Stu, I was just finished reading your guest post at Bill’s place, and now you’re here too. That’s just awesome. I can’t get enough of your posts bud. 

    I haven’t been in an interview like this before, but I sure understands what it was all about. I have been working at the University for about 9 years now, and I’ve learned a thing or two about “city pricks” :)

    I always trust my instincts, and I’m not always right (I might be more wrong than right), but I keep trusting them. And I always will be. Because it feels right.

    My worst interview was probably when there was 5 people interviewing me at the same time. The interview went great, but I felt like I was completely alone, and that they were out to get me. I guess that they outnumbered me, five to one, and that this was the only reason why I felt that it was a bad experience.

    Like you, going though with things like your “bad interview” is a great experience. Now, the next time I’m going in to an interview and will se four people in the room, I’m going to think “piece of cake” :)

    Jens

    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      Crikey, five people! That feels like the X-Factor 😉

      Thanks for the comment Jens, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts as always. You’re a good and honest man :-)

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    Damn Stu, I thought you were over at my place today. Trust me, I would have taken Griddy up on the offer too; I’m surprised you even showed up at my house. Let’s see………….. Vienna sausages and saltines at Dormans or champagne and caviar at Griddy’s…………we might have been born on a Wednesday, but it damn sure wasn’t last Wednesday, huh?

    Considering I have been in the same job and with the same firm for 28+ years, it has been awhile since I’ve had to interview. However, coming out of university (I would have said college at my site, but over here I have to put on my international mystique hat) I probably had 15+. I didn’t have any ‘bad’ interview per se, but obviously I didn’t get offers at every one either…………..I mean, imagine that……….how could they pass up on Mr Wonderful……………geez………….

    Hey Griddy, I’m guessing they don’t have the lottery in Lebanon or you didn’t even buy a ticket and that is why you are back in front of the computer, huh?

    Oh yeah, what was this post about? As much as you try not to, you will always judge someone by their looks. However, how you react to it is entirely up to you.

    That’s my story today and I’m sticking to it. 

    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      Ah, the ever-wonderful Bill Dorman comment – I was starting to wonder where it went 😉

      Being with the same company after so long is something to be proud of, even if you hate the job. I tip my hat to you. And I hope I cultivate levels of loyalty and commitment like you have. You’ve got it down to a T!

      Hm, went through the comment without saying “whilst” – there it is :-)

      • http://billdorman.wordpress.com Bill Dorman

        That’s my favourite………………

        • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

          I was tempted to say “Just sayin'” as well 😉

        • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

          I was tempted to say “Just sayin'” as well 😉

        • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

          I was tempted to say “Just sayin'” as well 😉

        • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

          I was tempted to say “Just sayin'” as well 😉

    • http://twitter.com/1brikshort Bruce Williams

      Hey Bill, I think we’re hard-wired to judge by appearance, to instantly recognise patterns, modes, genres – there are too many things going on at once for our brains to work through every detail so we look for familiar chunks of information to speed up how we respond to our environment. First appearances count, first everything counts! I’m learning it’s ok to judge quickly – it’s usually not far off the mark and I don’t have time to waste. The caveat? I’m willing to be convinced otherwise – I believe everyone deserves a second chance. The challenge? Not to respond quickly. Snap judgement OK. Snapping back, not so much. Still working on suppressing my foot-in-mouth gene.

      • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

        That’s an interesting point to make Bruce, about being hard-wired to be faster, in less time.

        If we’re constantly feeling rushed and stressed, we’re less likely to spend time on anything else. And that includes opinions of others :-)

  • http://billdorman.wordpress.com Bill Dorman

    Damn Stu, I thought you were over at my place today. Trust me, I would have taken Griddy up on the offer too; I’m surprised you even showed up at my house. Let’s see………….. Vienna sausages and saltines at Dormans or champagne and caviar at Griddy’s…………we might have been born on a Wednesday, but it damn sure wasn’t last Wednesday, huh?

    Considering I have been in the same job and with the same firm for 28+ years, it has been awhile since I’ve had to interview. However, coming out of university (I would have said college at my site, but over here I have to put on my international mystique hat) I probably had 15+. I didn’t have any ‘bad’ interview per se, but obviously I didn’t get offers at every one either…………..I mean, imagine that……….how could they pass up on Mr Wonderful……………geez………….

    Hey Griddy, I’m guessing they don’t have the lottery in Lebanon or you didn’t even buy a ticket and that is why you are back in front of the computer, huh?

    Oh yeah, what was this post about? As much as you try not to, you will always judge someone by their looks. However, how you react to it is entirely up to you.

    That’s my story today and I’m sticking to it. 

  • http://soulati.com/blog Soulati

    I’ll skip to the chase that resonated with me, Stu; it’s “trust your instincts.” How many times in life have you said to yourself after a terrible, life-changing event, “I should’ve trusted myself?” If we don’t listen first to the one we trust the most, then having trust in others is forever shattered.

    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      I think if you take away one thing from this post Jayme, I’d want it to be “trust your instincts”. So thank you :-)

  • http://twitter.com/maidoesimple Gabriele Maidecchi

    Being on the other side of the fence as the dude interviewing, I can just imagine how you could’ve feel. It’s important and try to be relaxing towards the people you’re interviewing, but sometimes, depending on what you’re looking for, I admit putting someone on the edge with some well-aimed questions or a “cocky” attitude can help you fully understanding one’s potential :p I’d say it’s all part of the drill, however the worse part of your story is calling in for one role and interviewing for another. That’s the really negative aspect.

    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      Hey Gabriele, thanks for stopping by!

      I try to look at things from the other guy’s perspective, and I admit i could have been clearer with my wishes not to progress. But we all have the responsibility to communicate clearly, it’s not just one-way :-)

  • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

    Thanks for featuring me as a guest poster Griddy, I really appreciate you reaching out and offering me the role.

    And I didn’t even need an interview 😉

    • http://nittygriddy.com/ Ingrid Abboud

      Hey Stu,
      It’s my pleasure and honor to have you here my friend. No need to thank me – I should be thanking you for agreeing and for being so damn quick :)! 

      I’ve been trying to think of funny, odd, disappointing or different interviews that I’ve had over the years – but none would be similar to this one. I’ve definitely had a nerve wracking one but I would need an entire eBook. And of course – I’ve had a couple funny ones here and there – but they were general all for jobs that I was somewhat interested in.

      Anyways thanks again for presenting my community and I with such an enlightening piece. Enjoy your day.

      Cheers

      • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

        Now that would make a great e-book for sure! 😉

        Take care Gridzilla :-)

  • Sam @ goa carnival

    This is very good move if somebody have capability then he/she can do anything and achieve any target with his/her past experience.

    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      Got it in one Sam :-)

  • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

    John, I appreciate you saying that, and I agree with the whole idea of a cattle call. They’ll do whatever they can to make the clients happy.

    Keep listening to that gut :-)

  • http://allisondduncan.com Allison Duncan

    So there I was in the car, staring at a red-brick building that looked nothing like what I pictured when I got the very professional inquiry email. I remember staring at the tiny building and thinking, “This is not a place I want to work at.” But I needed the job so in I went like a good little applicant.

    The secretary desk should have been my first clue. Two teenage girls, equipped with ipods and chewing gum, sat at the front desk shuffling paperwork. I introduced myself and sat next to the other 8 applicants in the feaux leather and chrome chairs to fill out the clipboard full of information the company wanted. It was like filling out an incoming patient file at a doctor’s office. I kind of felt sorry for the tree that had given its life for this mess. And this was just the interview.

    I waited for almost 2 hours past the time when the interview had been scheduled. Then we were taken into a room to experience death by power point. At this juncture my alarm bells had been going off for quite some time. This wasn’t a job for ‘ground level to junior executive’ like it had been advertised. This was looking more and more like a sales gimmick job.

    So I went into the actual interview. I too had a ‘city prick’ behind the desk. He was polite and friendly, and then told me I was the best dressed candidate he’d ever interviewed. Considering that I was in a business suit, this made me extremely nervous about the professional environment. But I was still too naive to just get up and walk out.

    Plus, he was obviously interested and told me that I should come back the next day for a 2nd interview and wear comfortable shoes as I’d be on my feet for ‘a while’. So the next day I came back in pumps instead of heels.

    And that was when his top salesman was assigned to me and we began the door to door treck to sell At&t to little old people. When the blisters began to pop, I called it quits and told her that this job was not for me and ‘thanks for the opportunity’.

    At any point I could have left the process. At any point I should have left if I’d listened to the alarm bells. But I was still pretty naive and desperate for work. That experience left an indelible mark on me and it will never happen again.

    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      That’s a great story to share Alison, not least because I’ve had a similar experience myself. I went for an interview thinking that the job would be based in one place, and that it would admin work. Unfortunately the role wasn’t like this at all.

      Instead, it was a very similar kind of work to what you described with your job. But it wasn’t until about 2/3 through the day that I plucked up the courage to say “I’m sorry, this isn’t for me.”

      Still, at least the guy I went round with payed for my lunch :-)

  • http://newsforbloggers.com Bryan P. Hollis

    Hi Ingrid, 
    Great topic. It was good to see your return to Blog Interact. While I have not been in this situation with respect to an interview specifically, I have dealt with the “situation” on numerous occasions. I’ve always been a bit to pig-headed to work for someone else…never works out (not a prick or arrogant, just always felt confined). But I digress. And like all of us, I have absolutely made judgment calls based on body language, dress, etc. (Usually in conjunction with each other i.e., the sum of all), but I have to say that I have been wrong on many occasions, usually playing against me because I have a tendency to be too kind “out-of-the-gate”. It’s my nature!
    Bryan   

    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      And that’s fine Bryan, your nature is to be human. Hence, human nature.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting, I appreciate it :-)

  • http://www.thejackb.com/ The JackB

    Stu, your story reminds me of an interview I went on for a “writing” job many years ago. I had just graduated from university and was trying to find a job as a journalist.

    I interviewed with a company that produced a series of trade publications and knew when I walked in that something felt off. They described the position as involving quite a bit of writing and said that I might have to do a couple of other things.

    That made me wonder about them but I was so hungry for a job that I ignored the bells in my head and when they offered the position I accepted.

    Sure enough the position wasn’t what they had advertised it to be.

    • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

      It’s a shame when that happens Jack, our guts try to warn us. It’s up to us to listen.

      What happened with that job? :-)

      • http://www.thejackb.com/ The JackB

        It was a miserable experience. I disliked it immensely but stuck it out for a year. The upside is that I learned a lot from it and was able to take what I learned and apply it to my life so it wasn’t a total loss.

        • http://www.unlockthedoor.net Stuart Mills

          The funny thing about bad experiences is that they aren’t all a total waste. Nothing in life is a waste of time. Even cowpats get love 😉

  • http://www.expatlifecoach.com/blog John Falchetto

    Stu,
    Recruiters and agencies do what they name in the business a ‘cattle call’. This means they have to provide a certain number of bodies to their clients to justify their pay. It doesn’t matter that you and the other lady were not interested in the position. Never forget whose interest the agency has at heart at the end of the day. 
    As for my gut, it has rarely let me down. 

    • video production services

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