STUPID, STRANGE OR FUNNY STUFF I HEAR.

• Feb. 20, 2010

It seems I haven’t heard any good shit in a while. But don’t lose hope, there’s tons of peo­ple out there spurt­ing stuff out every minute. I’ll hear some­thing wor­thy of shar­ing even­tu­ally .

• Feb. 7, 2010

Where: Nowhere spe­cial

Who: Anony­mous

What: “I love Chanel. Even if they made ‘poopoo’, I would still buy it!”

My Thoughts: Lol! Oddly enough, I think she has a point.

And for some rea­son, I can also pic­ture Mar­i­lyn Mon­roe say­ing some­thing of the sort.

• Feb. 5, 2010

Where: Nowhere spe­cial

Who: Anony­mous

What: “I peed on my hus­band while on the back of a jet ski.“

My Thoughts: Ewwww…

• Feb. 2, 2010 (but in fact — not too long ago)

Where: In a house while play­ing cards

Who: Anony­mous

What: “I didn’t cheat! She didn’t even see my cards when I showed them to her.”

My Thoughts: Are you seri­ously going with that argument?

• Feb. 1, 2010 (but in fact — a cou­ple weeks ago)

Where: Nowhere spe­cial

Who: Anony­mous

What: “Does ‘Ugly Betty’ get pretty in sea­son 2?”

My Thoughts: Yes, she does. She becomes one of Mode’s super mod­els and the show’s name is changed to ‘Beau­ti­ful Betty.’

• Jan. 29, 2010

Where: Nowhere spe­cial

Who: Anony­mous

What: “I think it’s offi­cial. All of my brain­cells are dead; even the one that was in the coma.”

My Thoughts: …

• Jan. 28, 2010

Where: At a lunch

Who: Anony­mous

What: “I fanny farted at the gyne­col­o­gist today dur­ing my pap smear.”

My Thoughts: Hmmm… could the title of this page be more perfect?

• Jan. 26, 2010

Where: Over the phone

Who: My bank’s client rela­tions offi­cer: [trans­lated from French]

What: “I’m really sorry that you haven’t been able to use your credit card for the last 2 years. I’ve tried to fix the prob­lem sev­eral times, but I don’t know where its com­ing from. Should I renew the card again for you this year?”

My Thoughts: What do you think? Do I want to keep pay­ing for a credit card that doesn’t work?