ever had to deal with the night­mare that is cus­tomer ser­vice? well, i assure you i have — and a few times! for the record — if you’re gonna’ put me on hold for 10 min­utes (that actu­ally feel like days) with crappy back­ground music that stops every minute giv­ing you hope that an actual human being may come on the line, but instead, it’s the brain­wash­ing mes­sage to remind me of how impor­tant my call is to you — do not, and i repeat do not refer to me as ‘maam’ when you finally do take my call — it’s only gonna’ make me want to beat you sense­less with a 10,000 page gram­mar book from this cen­tury — i’m not say­ing it’s rude or any­thing like that — on the con­trary, i’m sure you mean it as a sign of respect but on top of it sound­ing annoy­ing (at least the way cs folks say it) it also insin­u­ates that i’m old(er) — and i’m not!

the worst part about wait­ing on the line is that you keep think­ing that they’re gonna’ get to your call at any moment — so you don’t dare hang up or even go to the bath­room for that mat­ter — heaven for­bid you miss that man (or woman) located some­where on the other side of the world who speaks 12 words of eng­lish — cause let’s face it, it’s not like you can put them on hold! you’re scared to run to the kitchen and make a sand­wich, you’re scared to answer the door, you’re scared to turn up the tv, you’re scared to pick up the other line…basically, you’re scared of not get­ting to talk to some­one you don’t know that you already want to poke at with an ice pick, so you just hang on to that phone with every­thing you’ve got, switch­ing it from ear to ear.

alright! enough with my rant­ing about how i loathe deal­ing with cus­tomer ser­vice. i would rather show you — and i’ve found no bet­ter way to do so than by direct­ing you to the tal­ented mr. matthew inman. his piece on cus­tomer ser­vice as well as the rest of his cre­ative art­work can be seen on his blog the oat­meal. this guy’s top­ics and illus­tra­tions are quite orig­i­nal and pretty great; at least i think so.

[image credit: matthew inman from the oat­meal]

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