i stumbled across a pretty funny post called ‘how to tick people off’ by joe crawford from artlung. it’s a list of things that people do to annoy the hell out of you – some funny, some not! i thought it would be nice to republish it here as some of them do ring true – try to picture a few, and you’ll see what i mean. seeing that this is a copy paste of the original post, i have left the text as is.
- Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
- Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
- Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
- Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
- Staple pages in the middle of the page.
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
- TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
- type only in lowercase. ouch!
- dont use any punctuation either
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
“DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”
- As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”
- call someone’s name over and over while you continuously poke at their arm with one finger.
- stare at someone’s expensive brand name watch and tell them how incredibly real it looks from far.
- finish someone’s sentences when they talk.
- exclaim “that’s what she said” at the end of someone’s statement – a bit like michael in ‘the office‘ series.
- if you have a loose crown in your mouth, pop it in and out while someone talks to you.
- nod your head repetitively and repeat “yup, ahum ahum” while someone speaks to you.
- hang up the phone before the other person has the chance to say goodbye.
- ask how much someone payed for their new purchase and tell them you found it for half off somewhere else.
- bark at people from your car while sitting at a stop light.
- snatch a magazine out of someone’s hand while they are reading it and start to read the article yourself.
- read the morning paper out loud at the office so that everyone can hear.
- continuously interrupt someone as they tell a story.
- fix someone’s tie, shirt or eyebrows as they talk to you.
- pop obnoxious bubbles with your chewing gum.
- chew your food/gum with your mouth open – pretty much like a cow… and talk at the same time.
are there any others that annoy you? post your comments.
[image credit (top right): www.best-of-web.com]
[image credit (bottom left): mypugmarks.blogspot.com]